How to connect with people as an introvert

Published on: February 12, 2022 (Updated on: April 22, 2024)

how to connect with people as an introvert
How to connect with people as an introvert

As an introvert, it is good to have social skills and learn how to develop relationships. This article will show you how to connect with people as an introvert.

What is an introvert?

Introverts are people who prefer their own company to the company of others. However, it is important for everyone including introverts to develop interpersonal skills to help them connect with people. 

Things so many people would consider fun are some of the things that introverts find stressful. Social activities like going to have a meal with friends, going on a date or simply going to work events may be seen as mentally draining for most introverts. An introvert would have to mentally prepare and stimulate themselves for days, just to attend a 2-hour social gathering.

Other than a lack of social presence, introverts actually seek out relationships and friendships. However, an introvert would rather be alone than be with people whom they don't find mentally stimulating. This obviously makes it harder for them to make or keep a lot of friends. Introverts like to operate in a close-knit circle.

Introverts make up for their lack of social appeal by being good listeners, taking in and ruminating deeply on the information before giving a response. They also make great conversationalists, once they find a person who ticks their mental box.

Another great quality introverts have is their ability to differentiate between what a person is saying and how they are truly feeling. This intuitiveness allows them to be able to decide who they can open up to. However, not everyone gets to see this side of them.

Below are 5 ways to connect with people as an introvert:

1. Be more open-minded

This is one of the first steps in overcoming antisocial behaviour. Introverts need to accept that they can't be alone forever and that they really do need people. Whether in your social life or your professional life, you need to make good connections.

Introverts need to cultivate the habit of saying fewer "No's" and saying "Yes" more often. Accept more dinner or movie invitations, attend that work dinner and of course, go on that double date. These are activities that allow you to appreciate the presence of others and build stronger ties to society.

2. Be more engaging

Introverts generally like to keep to themselves and would not engage anyone in conversation unless they are first approached. You need to be more willing to start up conversations with people and be more open to communication. A good way to be more engaging is to first be approachable, most introverts love their personal space and outsiders might find them a bit snobbish.

3. Reach out more

It is most common for introverts to get lost in their own world. This sometimes makes them neglect their loved ones and the people around them. If you're looking to connect more with people as an introvert, you need to learn to reach out more to people.

More often than not, introverts wait to be called or texted before reaching out. You can break that habit by calling your friends or associates first, sending them a text, initiating that outing or date and visiting more often.

4. Get Personal

Introverts generally cherish deep conversations and tend to avoid shallow people. In your bid to make better connections with people, do not shy away from asking those deep personal questions. This might be quite uncomfortable especially if you're just meeting the person or you find yourself in a new environment.

However, asking these personal questions shows that you're taking a genuine interest in the person and you're being intentional about getting to know them.

5. Be intentional

In getting to know people and connecting with them, you need to be more intentional. Learn to go the extra mile while having a conversation and remove yourself from your comfort zone. Try to do things that not only you like but be open to trying activities that others like.

As with every other thing in life, building a connection takes work and practice. Do not put so much pressure on yourself because nobody expects you to become a social butterfly overnight. The more you do things that take you out of your comfort zone, the better you become at it. Always remember that with practise comes perfection.

See also 'how to make new friends in real life'.



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