Don't speak about your problem. Speak to your problem.

Published on: November 10, 2020

Don't speak about your problem. Speak to your problem. Ships don't sink because of the water around them. They sink because of the water that gets in them. Don't let whats happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.

We all have challenges but what differentiate us is, while some keep complaining about their problems others speak to the problem. Do you know the more you talk about a problem the more life you give to that problem? Our tongue is so powerful that you become the product of what you say.

There is this lady I knew way back in the university. She had this funny intonation (igbotic accent). She never allowed that challenge to deter her from getting what she wanted. Whenever there was an opportunity to talk this lady comes out first. Her goal was to build that self-confidence without paying attention to the reaction of people. She continued this until we became used to the way she talks. Imagine if she had refused to express herself back then, she would absolutely be drowned in low self-esteem today.

Listen to me, no problem can weigh you down without your permission. Without your approval it cannot be approved. A lot of people are not successful today not because of funds but because of lack of believe. You have to believe in yourself first. Be mindful of what you do or say.

Mindfulness embroils paying attention, on purpose, without judgment. Using this approach, you evaluate yourself without judgment, knowing that self-recrimination is not the solution to your problem. On the contrary, according to research, when you judge yourself harshly, you're more likely to compound your problem by worrying. And worrying cannot solve that problem rather it deteriorates it.

Stop judging. Your attention instead should be focused on what that problem is telling you and how that problem can turn around to help you. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" This will help you determine what steps to take next.

Be kind to yourself. You're human. Criticizing yourself, isolating yourself or letting your worries get the best of you won't help you reach your goals. These behaviours only show that you're in need of a little self-compassion. When you start to condemn yourself, challenge your thoughts by asking, "Is what I'm telling myself right now 100 percent true?

Change how you look at your problem. You certainly don't have to love your problem, but you can turn your negative thoughts into more positive ones. You might tell yourself, "This is a test to help me know if my behaviour changes are working for me." Or, "This problem is just a small part of me. It doesn't include my strong passion and desire for my job, my love for my family and friends, my talents and strengths."

Here's one more: "The problem is only a passing phase. It doesn't change your self-worth. It might even help you to write "What can I learn from this?" on a piece of paper and hang it where you can see it every time. Then bravely step forward and hold your head high, no matter what the problem is.


When you notice yourself making judgments, jot them down and then ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"
When you face a setback, think before you criticize yourself. What would you say to a friend in a similar position? Now try using that language for yourself. If feelings of dread start to creep in as you get ready to step on, take a moment to stop and think about the bigger picture of what you're learning when you talk to your problem.

Author: ardarrh