Ladies take relationships seriously due to their emotional nature. Right from puberty, when the female hormones kick in, they develop a longing for a relationship with a member of the opposite sex. This longing which is a need, forms part of a lady’s psychological makeup. Unfortunately, this makes them vulnerable to people who may take advantage of them. This post will discuss some reasons why ladies get hurt in relationships.
The female perspective on relationships
Women are emotional by nature, and this is a well-known fact. Most times, their emotions spill over somehow into every aspect of their lives, and relationships are no exception. Women value relationships and place much emphasis on them in a way members of the opposite sex might never understand. Communication, affection, and attention are essential to them.
Ladies tend to nurture and care for their partners intensively. Sometimes, they try to change certain things about their partner which they feel aren’t right. While this may be overdoing things, it’s just their way of showing care.
Ladies invest a lot of time and effort into relationships. They always want it to work out. And when their relationships are successful, they get a sense of fulfilment and accomplishment, which positively influences other aspects of their lives. So the bottom line is women take relationships seriously.
There’s a possibility that ladies get hurt more in some relationships types than others. This is because ladies put varying degrees of emotions into different relationship types. For instance, a lady would get hurt more by a breakup or divorce compared to losing a mere friend or acquaintance. But what relationship types are there?
What’s a relationship? It’s any kind of connection between people, be it intimate, platonic, positive, or negative. There are four types of relationships:
1. Family relationships,
4. Romantic relationships.
Several in-between relationships exist too, for instance, the employer-employee relationship, otherwise known as the professional relationship or a teacher-student relationship. This post, however, focuses on relationships of the romantic kind.
Why ladies get hurt in relationships and the solution to the problem
1. Ladies don’t communicate well with their partners
Some ladies give a funny answer when asked if they usually tell their partners about what they want. They say: “But he should know what I want.” That’s not only impossible but unreasonable. Inadequate communication between partners has destroyed many relationships. While the men are straightforward from day one, the ladies tend to beat around the bush. What they forget is the poor man can’t read their minds. With inadequate communication, fights and quarrels are inevitable. Eventually, the relationship goes under, and naturally, the lady gets hurt.
The simple solution is communication, a lot of it. In a relationship, partners should be open with each other especially if they’re looking to settle down. Beating around the bush won’t help anybody. The earlier ladies begin opening up to their partners, the better for them.
2. Ladies expect a perfect man
No one is perfect. While everyone knows this, ladies tend to forget this fact whenever they’re in a relationship. They expect the man to be this and that. He should act like this, and he should do that. Half the time, their expectations are unrealistic. The irony is the ladies expecting a ‘perfect man’ are hardly perfect themselves. So, inevitably, the lady gets hurt.
Ladies should stop ‘creating the perfect man’ in their heads. Now, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have their standards. A lady shouldn’t get into a relationship with every Tom, Dick, and Harry she meets, but please, life isn’t a fairytale. It’s no Cinderella. The earlier ladies stick to reality, the better.
3. Ladies put a lot of pressure on their men in relationships
Ladies generally want a lot of things. Most times, they’re super undecided. Today, they want to have this, and tomorrow they want to have that. To make matters worse, such women can’t do this by themselves. They turn their man into an ATM and put a lot of pressure on him. While some men try to manage, some quit immediately, leading to a breakup, and again, the lady gets hurt.
Dear ladies, you’re supposed to be a partner, helper, and asset to your man, not a liability. Your partner is not the answer to all your problems. Ladies should learn to handle things themselves.
4. Ladies get hurt in relationships because they make costly assumptions
Some ladies get into a relationship without clearly defining its purpose. When things turn out wrongly, they end up at the receiving end and get seriously hurt. I’ve heard a lady say: “I got into a relationship with him because I thought he wanted to marry me”.
Hello ladies. Stop thinking and stop assuming. Instead, define the purpose of the relationship. Is it just going to be a boyfriend-girlfriend thingy for dating sake, or are there actual plans to settle down eventually?
Asking the right questions helps a lady avoid unnecessary drama. From day one, the purpose of the relationship should be known and spelt out. This will help avoid stories that touch.
5. Ladies let themselves be human dumpsters
While courtesy demands that ladies don’t overreact to every action or inaction by their partners, she shouldn’t let herself be walked over. She should have a healthy level of self-respect and self-esteem. Unfortunately, some ladies appear to absorb every insult to their personality by an abusive person. If this continues over time, it could lead to other things apart from getting hurt in that relationship. They include mental disturbance, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc. Sometimes the ladies just lose it, and then a murder happens.
Solution? Ladies should stand up for themselves and refuse to be bullied. Then, as politely as possible, they should make it known to their partners that they won’t be talked down or walked over.
Relationships should be fun and exciting. Not the other way round. Relationships should have a purpose that should be spelt out. Finally, communication between partners helps a lot.
You might also be interested in reading the Top 5 Lies Used by Romance Scam Artists.