You should be conscious of the need for change and work towards achieving it. You have to be opened to Change and growth for it to actually happen. It is impossible for the floods of innovation and creativity to move into our very being if we are not ready for it by shutting off every exit point for change.
If the seedbed for change is not present, change can not happen. In psychology, our life has to undergo different developmental stages to achieve full maturity. However, there are instances where a person may get hooked at a certain stage, unwilling to progress to the next stage. these disorders are called psychological fixations. It is surprising to see fully grown-up adults who are still so much comfortable at the oral stage of their life.
There are mothers who find it difficult to let go of the image of their child as a kid and thus stunt the growth of their child being. There are also grown up adults who find it difficult to let go of their umbilical cord and still manifest strong dependency on their parents. Unless these individuals recognise their need for change and maturity, they will remain in that same stage and will never be able to move to the higher stages of life
For positive change to take place, the first demand is to realize that there is a need for change. This realization may come to a person as a result of objective self-assessment or evaluation of the different areas of his/her own life. Also, sometimes this realization is as a result of good advice based on another person observation that there is a need for a change in a person’s life.
We can also have this realization by allowing ourselves to make a paradigm shift. If we make effort to see things from a different viewpoint, we may be able to see the dark and grey areas of our life, and we may be enthused to change them. This realization will birth the beginning of our growth and advancement and without doubt the beginning of maturity and improvement.
There are many challenges we have to overcome to achieve a significant change in our life. First, there is the inertia—the force which drags us to stay in our existing situation and to avoid the prospect of change. This force is powerful and it is akin to the force of gravity. To get out of this inertia we need another sizeable amount of force.
Second, there is the inner struggle such as lack of self-confidence, emotional baggage and our mental programs of fear and phobias. These inner forces are very strong emotional and mental habits which thwarts us from opening ourselves to the essential changes in our life. To conquer these challenges in our growth, we need to take steps to alter our negative subconscious programs. Let me give you a good case in point: Many among us fear to speak in front of a crowd. I used to be that way.
There was this friend of mine who was naturally eloquent, yet whenever she was asked to speak in front of a crowd, she would start stammering and shaking. I asked her why she was always naively tongue-tied every time she was asked to speak in front of an anonymous crowd. Her answer was that she always hears an inner voice that says she will be embarrassed if she makes mistake. The prospect of embarrassment is holding her back from making progress in her rhetorical skill.
This inner program, which was perhaps instilled into her subconscious mind, early on in her life, has been so strong and capable of stopping her from harnessing her eloquent skill. It is so powerful enough that she is hampered from achieving something significant using her God-given talent for public speaking. She could overcome this hurdle by developing a strong desire to debunk the old program in her subconscious mind and replacing it with a confident and self-assured belief in her very own self.
We can become mindful of these undesirable mental programs by listening to our self-talk. You may be pondering what self-talk is. It is not the kind of talk psychotic people do—talking to their very own selves. Self-talk is the process of talking to oneself when one is alone.
This talk may not be expressed loudly. It is an inner conversation between our subconscious mind and the conscious mind. In the case of the above-mentioned example, the lady has the natural flair for public speaking. Yet, there is an inner voice that tells her that she is not a good speaker. Though her conscious mind recognizes that she has got the talent for public speaking, her subconscious mind argues with her conscious mind that she is not a good speaker.
So every time she is about to mount on the platform and give a speech, she would get involved in a self-talk in which her subconscious mind would argue that she is truly not a good speaker. This undesirable subconscious program may be so debilitating that many among us will time and again shy away from success because of the instigation of these deleterious programs.
So to set straight these negative programs and lay the ground for change, we need to prepare our inner self by being mindful of these negative inner programs and slowly changing these negative programs with the opposite positive programs. Consciousness of these negative programs can produce an inner desire for change, and the formation of this inner desire for change can be the needed push that can poke a person towards change.